We are All Gifted
The next time the kid in your life does something really stupid, repeat this mantra: We are all gifted. We are also, unfortunately, obsessed with measuring giftedness. Maybe this is not such a terrible thing - after all, we live in a world where measurements matter - we all need a certain amount of resources to survive, for example. And we all want our children to grow up with the ability to thrive within the systems that we’ve built. But maybe we need to start with a different premise. Instead of asking who is and isn’t gifted, let’s assume that we are all gifted, and that our task is to better understand the multitude of ways!
And we are not just saying this because Emily was one of the three kids who stayed behind while the rest of her friends left school on the TAG bus. Over the past decade or so, the research around giftedness has taught us that we are better off teaching our kids to work hard than telling them that they are smart. Things like growth-mindset, grit, resilience, and social-emotional learning are emphasized. (Check out these videos about how to instill growth mindsets in our children HERE and HERE). We can urge kindness and compassion over competition. After the past year kids have lost so much, perhaps supporting their mental health and emotional well-being should be the top priority? Maybe Emily can be proud of her “Most Conscientious” and “never-had-a-detention” awards after all. However, Alexina can be equally proud of being thrown out of Girl Scouts.
Just this morning the New York City Department of Education announced its phasing out its Gifted & Talented programs. This is a tricky, nuanced thing, and will have some ripple effects, and some interesting questions will arise: will parents who can afford it be more likely to opt for private school? Or, will public schools all just be better as a result? How can we ensure all kids are engaged and supported in learning? But overall, this could be a really good thing.
Maybe it’s less about striving for what we don’t have and more about investigating what is already within our children. To quote Oogway in Kung Fu Panda, Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present. (And yes, it was Oogway who said this first, DUH).
Image: The Far Side, Gary Larson Cartoons.